Getting Married A Guy’s Guide
From “Will you” to “I do”
By Deborah Oberlin
You found a girl and she’s the one, and you’re thinking about popping the question. Not sure how to do it? Don’t panic, if you have really listened to her and know her, you will find that special way and just the right words to say at the right time. It can be intimate, just the two of you, or friends and family lending a hand to pull off a big surprise. Either way, at the end of the day, she will love you for the thought and effort you put into it. You can always ask a professional wedding planner for some tips. They will feel honored to share in one of biggest events of your life and it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. I love to ask the groom when he comes to tour the venue, “So how did you propose?” After all, that is the reason they are there in the first place. He popped the question. I could write a book with the stories I have heard — on a cruise ship, in front of the castle at Disney, on the side of a mountain after they climbed it, and even during a flash mob. My favorite proposals are the ones that my staff and I get to be involved with.
Guys, you will get brownie points if you join in on the tours to choose the wedding venue. You should, if possible, jump in and help your bride with some of the important planning details. Start with setting a budget and trying to stick to it. Some of the most elegant weddings are very simple with several touches of the bride and groom’s personalities. When shopping for a venue, they should be able to give you a quote when you give them an estimate of the number of guests.
It’s your day too. Yes, it takes two to get married. Let your bride know what you want to incorporate into the ceremony, reception or weekend long celebration. Some of the popular choices for grooms are playing golf on the morning of the wedding, a cigar bar, a signature drink, a groom’s cake, or even having “man’s best friend” included in the ceremony. For the bride, it’s all about the dress; for the groom, it’s all about the food and drinks. The guys never miss the food tasting. All in all, the groom just wants the day to be special for his bride.
On the big day, time will fly so have a plan. If you are going to play a round of golf that morning, consider just nine holes. Don’t wear yourself out. Ask your wedding planner to arrange for breakfast and lunch for you and your groomsmen. Get dressed earlier than you think you need to since little glitches with your wardrobe tend to happen when you least expect it. This will give you the extra time to handle last minute details and fix any problems that might arise. Everyone has that one groomsman who is always late for everything. Tell him to arrive at least an hour earlier than the others. Set expectations for your groomsmen as to where and when they need to be throughout the celebration. Much time is spent waiting for wedding parties to finish up photos and you will want as many as you can squeeze in, especially if you have several options at your venue. Seize the moment and location. Send a note to your bride on the big day and flowers are always a nice touch, preferably in the morning before she gets her makeup done. Ask someone to assist with this task and they should make sure that your photographer catches this special moment.
Vendors are another challenge. Ask for a vendors list from your venue or several venues. They are in the business and have seen the vendors in action. The best advice I can give a couple about vendors is to ask lots of questions and make sure to get a contract. One of the best questions you can ask is, “Are you flexible? If we change our mind about something, how quickly can you change? “ It is important to have a timeline but they need to be flexible. If you change your mind about something in the middle of the reception, they need to change. It’s your day!
No one wants to hear a DJ inviting the guests to stop out and see him at Joe’s Bar and Grill on Friday nights. Photographers are another area where couples try to save money, but make sure they don’t leave before you have had your first dance or your bride dances with her father. A good wedding planner or event coordinator can step in and take care of many details that can drive couples crazy or even worse, spoil the big day. Always have a backup plan. I always have a backup plan to my backup plan. Especially with outdoor venues, this will take a lot of the stress off your bride and undoubtedly keep you happier.
At the end of your big day, you will be able to look back and say, “We had a wonderful wedding and our guests had a great time.” It will feel even more special if you have experienced vendors handling the details for your special day so you can enjoy every moment.
Getting Married A Guy’s Guide